Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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