Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
