are you still at the devil's house?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
