You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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