remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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