we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
