My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Your cock deserves a montage
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
