Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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