I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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