No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
