So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I got inside last night via doggy door
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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