Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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