Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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