He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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