So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
