I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
