i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
