I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
