Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
