You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
