I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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