So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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