I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
