he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize