508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
