It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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