You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
