Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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