like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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