This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
