ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
