He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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