i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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