My liver just broke up with me...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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