we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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