I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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