Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
