she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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