Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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