so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
