Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
