it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
3 2 1 whiskey
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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