I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
