JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
