you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
