i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
