My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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