this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
