this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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