her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
