I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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