About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
