So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just come out here and I will go home with you...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
