Will you blow on my dice?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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