Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize