is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Come share oat with me in your robe
soo... how was my night?
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