So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
